Ask Sarah: The Advice Column

Posted on October 10, 2011

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Question: I think my boyfriend is cheating on me with his best friend. What should I do? – Anonymous
 
Answer:
            Before you react you should get the evidence that he is cheating on you. There are many things that can give off signs that he is cheating and it also depends on what you call cheating.
 
            Signs that may show he is cheating is deleting phone history, asking what you consider cheating, asking you to change the way you look or your hair color, asking how faithful you are, and the phone ringing but he doesn’t answer it.
 
            Cheating could be considered holding hands, hugging, kissing, texting, talking on the phone, skyping, or any sign of flirting. You and him need to be on the same page as far as determining what cheating really is.
 
            You should have trust in your partner unless he has ever done anything to make you think otherwise. If he has cheated on you in the past then maybe you are just so scared and angry with him that you can not put it behind you. If that is the case then take Dr. Phil’s advice when he said, “Don’t continue to live in anger, and/or be with someone who causes you pain.”
 
            When a guy gives you no reason to doubt his loyalty and he has told you “No, I am not cheating on you” then let it go. Step back. Maybe you are just a little skittish because of past relationships. Kaitlyn Duckworth, Croatan student, put her personal input into this by saying, “Why worry? That just shows it’s unhealthy. Trust has to be in a relationship for it to last. When I had this issue I learned to not react until you get all the details. It is always important to think before you act.”
 
            Mike Hardcastle, teen advice expert, said, “No matter what you tell yourself about the reasons for cheating your motivations are purely selfish. Nobody ever cheats for the sake of another person.” So overall, don’t beat yourself up over it if he is cheating on you. Just get the evidence and stay strong.

Reported by Sarah Braun

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Posted in: Ask Sarah