Havoc in the Hallways

Posted on December 7, 2011

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The ideal hallway.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! You would think that the sound of a dismissal bell ringing at a high school would make teenagers excited, and don’t get me wrong, for some it does. As students head for the doors, however, they hear shrieks and cries from the hallway, making their attitude about leaving quite the opposite.  It’s fair to relate the Croatan hallways to a rush hour. Constantly being used as a human pin ball, you are slung from locker to locker as you hit obstacles along the way. It’s almost impossible to make it to class without being nauseas.

Croatan was only designed for 700 students when it was first built, according to Mrs. Krohn, a counselor. Mr. Poletti says there are now 866 students roaming the halls of CHS. There needs to be severe changes to fix the  havoc occurring in the hallways. There are multiple ways to solve this problem:

 The situation: Maneuvering through the halls is critical. People change speeds, just like horrible drivers do on highways. They slow down as if waiting to be rear ended…MOVE.  Also, the hallways should work just like a highway; with a right and left lane. Do you stop in the middle of the highway? NO. So, don’t do it in the hallway—it is asking for a bruised back.

Fix it by: making a perfect zig zag through the hallways to reach your destination quicker.  If that does not work, invest in a police siren that you can tape on a hat, and run through hallways as if you were an ambulance.

 

The situation: The dreadful corners are the worst. As you turn the corner, it never fails that you will run into someone.

Fix it by: screaming as loud as you can when approaching the corner. People will know you’re coming. If that doesn’t work, whoever is turning right will hug the wall, and those turning left will go around that person.

  

The situation: Make out sessions have become an issue for not only the teachers, but other students as well. There have been posters hung up in the stairwells for all to see, but there are still people kissing in the hallway. When did it stop being enough to doodle “I love so and so” on each others hands? It’s enough, trust me.

Fix it by: walking past a couple and screaming “EW, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” If that doesn’t work, you could always throw a plastic bag over their heads.

  

The situation: The stairs are home to the most tragic events in the whole school. Whether you trip up them, or fall down them…you will be laughed at, even if you are a teacher. Just like the hallway, it is hard to maneuver through the stairs. It is almost impossible for someone to get from the hallway to the stairs, especially when lunch just ended.

Fix it by: hiring Jordan White to direct the traffic in the halls. All that needs to be supplied is a whistle.

 

Students at Croatan are suffering due to the bizarre hallway frenzy. Perhaps the only real solution is for the freshmen to take a Hallway Walking 101 class, or there needs to be tape down the middle of the hallway, like a road. There will be no more people stopping in the middle of the walkway to talk, no more making out, and no more people running into each other.  Croatan will be safe once more.

Reported by Kayeleigh Hardy

 

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Posted in: Opinion